Your brain is wired for survival, not happiness.
Take a look around…our society is pretty screwed up.
At some point in our lives, almost half of us (46%) will be so down, distressed or generally messed up that we will meet the DSM criteria for a mental illness [1]. Anxiety, depression and addiction are the most prevalent. It’s chilling to think that right now, at this very moment, about 13 million people in this country are so profoundly unhappy that they want to end their lives and 1.5 million will actually attempt it this year [2,3].
Metaphorically speaking, our environment is toxic.
Again…our world is pretty screwed up. So, those anxious thoughts you’ve been having? They are a normal reaction to a threatening world. Your depressive thoughts are a normal reaction to a painful world. Your anger is a normal reaction to an angry world. Let’s not assume that we are supposed to be happy and well-adjusted to a threatening, painful and angry world.
The problem is our ability to adapt, which is also one of our most important strengths and a key to survival. People are put in horrible situations: jail, concentrations camps, natural disasters, human trafficking, war, abusive relationships, extreme poverty…but no matter how dysfunctional the situation or dangerous the environment, we are very good at developing coping skills that enable us to survive both physically and mentally.
Unfortunately, coping skills such as people-pleasing, self-sacrifice, numbing our emotions, maintaining denial, blocking things out, and trying to fit in, tend to break down over time. As we evolve and our environment changes, those coping skills stop working so well.
The result? The pain and stress find ways of slipping past our defenses and the negative feelings and dysfunctional behaviors build. They show up as anxiety, depression, addiction, hopelessness, anger, conflict, self-hate or one of a million other painful and problematic things. When they reach a tipping point, we realize that something is dreadfully wrong. And that is why you are here.
So, what do we do?
Our work together will be a combination of skills-based learning, deep discussions, and insightful analysis. The skills and techniques will help you gain control over your thoughts and emotions. Insightful analysis will help you change the ways you think about and interact with others.
The end result? A quiet mind, centered emotions and new sense of self. The intrusive and repetitive thoughts go away. The inner critic quiets down. The little things that drove you crazy don’t bother you anymore. Life starts to feel under control. Things finally make sense. You finally feel like a strong and authentic version of yourself that you didn’t even know was there.
[1] https://mhanational.org/resources/quick-facts-and-statistics-about-mental-health/